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 Glasses and Electric Tape: A Global Richard Patrick Conspiracy 01/10/02 | The Fun and Torture of Making a Website 1/30/02 | Rich's Wonderful Way With Words...Or Well, the Mystery of Some of Them. 3/3/02 | Proud of Being An Amalgamut...3/8/02 | Rich and His Immature Ideas....3/16/02 | Boy Bands and Their Mind Controlling Ways(ARewriteofaPreviousRambleThatIStupidlyDeleted..) 3/24/02 | Family Organizations Who Think Way Too Much of Themselves and Family and What I Think They Should Do | The History of the Rich Facts 4/10/02 | LazyChristianReviewersandTheirLackofComprehendableAnswerstoQuestionsAboutTheirSloppyReviews4/18/02 | The Rich Fact Webmistress and Her Clumsiness 4/20/02 | Are You Lucky Enough to Meet Filter? Here's Some Tips You Might Need. 4/26/02 | Frank's New Look and That Guy Wearing the "I Am Richard Patrick" Shirt. 5/1/02 | Happy Birthday Richie!!!! Gee, you're getting OLD! 5/10/02 | Copyright CDs and You. Oh and that Guy From Nine Inch Nails' Birthday. 5/17/02 | Record Labels and How They Function And Farewell to the X-Files 5/22/02 | Where the FUCK is the MP3?????!!!!??? 5/31/02 | The Fred Durst Controversy 6/5/02 | Thank You Richard 6/7/02 | As the Shit Hits the Fan, remember this. . .6/10/02 | Beavis and Butthead Watch Take A Picture 6/14/02 | Where Do We Go From Here??? Let Filter Take You There. 6/21/02 | Bananas and Tea!! Rich is NOT Demanding! As If! 6/28/02 | Because I'm bored and feel the need to write about it. 7/5/02 | So I Still Have Nothing To Talk About. Okay, I Do. 7/11/02 | Pre Concert Rambles and Funny Stories About KKCK's Crazy Suckiness 7/18/02 | The RFW Gets Lucky In Iowa. . .A RFW Concert Tale 7/26/02 | Extra, Extra READ All About IT!!! 8/2/02 | The Rockline Files 8/9/02 | The Lost Cs: Conan and Carson. . 8/17/02 | The RFW Goes to Get Her Learn On 8/24/02 | How YOU can help Filter to do their job BETTER 8/31/02 | Wanna know what would be cool??? No really! Wanna know?? 9/7/02 | Walkie Talkie Mayhem. . .9/15/02 | Stations, what other stations?? The RFW Rants About Radio Hell that is KKCK. 9/21/02 | Another Pre Filter Concert Ramble by the RFW 9/28/02 | It's Been One Of Those Weeks 10/5/02 | Get Well Richie!! 10/5/02 | Would you look at THAT! A New Consider This! 10/26/02 | The RFW Wants You!!!! 11/9/02
Are You Lucky Enough to Meet Filter? Here's Some Tips You Might Need. 4/26/02

 

Okay, you lucky ones. Listen up. Before you go and meet Filter at that video shoot, you might want to think a few things through first. You wouldn't want to make a complete ass out of yourself and be shamed in the Filter fan world, now would you? I didn't think so. So pull up a chair, sit down and listen and maybe you'll learn something before you embarrass all of us Filter fans in ungodly ways to Rich and co.

First, one should consider what a proper greeting is. Don't come up demanding that any Filter member sign your ass. It's not just digusting, it's rude and could get Rich's combat boot shoved far up your ass. So don't try it folks. It's just not the cool thing to do. Maybe, instead of getting one of your ass cheeks adorned with a signature, you should instead open up with a bit of typical conversation you may start with any other person you meet.

Say hi. Tell them that you're glad you could make it to the shoot and that they could take the time to invite fans. Offer your hand for a hand shake to the members of Filter. It'll probably go over better, but remember, don't go overboard and start acting like some society person. That wouldn't do any better than mooning the entire band and demanding that ass signature. It'd possibly be worse! Just be civil and don't drool(especially you female fans out there who find any one or more members enticing).

Perhaps after you make it through that excruitingly hard point of greeting, you ought to find out what you should do next. Don't think that just because you've passed that greeting now you can bare them cheeks. Rather, ask if there is any thing you may do to help out or something of that nature. Remember folks, they're busy people and have lots of fans in attendance besides you. They're not going to just sit and chit-chat with you for hours on end, though you might wish it be so.

Now, one must understand how close is too close. I figure if you can see up one of their noses(granting the fact that you may be like me and shorter than every member) that's probably too close for your or their comfort. Trust me, Rich might not like it if you suddenly step on his toes because you're just too damn close. You could again, meet that combat boot up the ass. Trust me, it'd be ugly and you'd have some explaining to do to your doctors, so just avoid it!

You probably shouldn't start spewing Filter facts to them. Why? Sure, it might impress them people who have no clue, but frankly the boys of Filter already KNOW what you're telling them! They'll think you're freaky and may ask security to remove you. Sure, sharing a little Filter knowledge is good and nice, but keep it down. It just might scare Rich off from holding any fan thing like this again and then we'd have to find you and possibly draw and quarter you. That'd be very ugly, more so than Rich's boot up your ass. It's just a good idea to appear sane(even if you might not be) so that they are not afraid of you, or think you're simply the most freaky, obssessive, creepy, psychotic person they've ever met. Wait, isn't his name Michael Jackson?

Now, think about it for a moment. Wouldn't it be nice if you could keep your obvious insanity under wraps(given that you are insane, that is)? I think that it would be most important to do so.
 
You probably shouldn't try to tell Rich how to make his music either. I think that's always a big no no when meeting an artist of any trade. It just seems to piss them off, okay? Sure, we artists enjoy a reaction, but if you make it stupid sounding, we'll only get mad and tell you to fuck off. I'm sure Rich wouldn't hesitate for a second to tell you to fuck off, shove that boot up your ass and send you off with his friendly security guard named Big Bad Bill. And trust me, he's BIG, he's BAD and he'll make sure you're no longer with the video shoot or near Filter again, so kiddies, don't try it.
 
Speaking of telling Rich or Filter what to do or not do, remember about Rich's wonderful smoking complaint? Don't be a non-smoker who thinks second hand smoke will kill us all for its cancer causing agents.(Besides, it's the french fries and bread that'll get you now, I hear). Rich would just not be happy with you and there again, you might meet Big Bad Bill. He just probably wouldn't take to you very well if you started prattling on and on about your health and his health and second smoke. It could get you a bunch of smoke in your face quite possibly and then you'll DIE instantly! Nah, you won't, but you might if Big Bad Bill gets to ya.
 
That goes for not pissing off Geno either. Just don't piss him off. We all know how them Italians have tempers. I have nothing against Italians, but dudes, the MOB! Okay, Geno's not a part of the Mob, but man, he sure does have a temper. He'll fight you and he'll win. So if you piss him off, this time it'll be Geno's boot up your ass and possibly's Rich's with it, not to mention what Big Bad Bill will do to you. Besides, why would you go to do this just to anger the guys? That's just fucking retarded.
 
I suppose you shouldn't try and piss off the other two, but if you ask me, Steve seems awfully shy. He's the wild card here. Frank will probably beat the shit out of you, but Steve, who knows? Just think about some of these things before you piss off these two either. Frank's funny and all, but man, he can get angry guys.(Remember how Rich and Frank met, guys).
 
Which leads into my next Don't. Don't go shooting your mouth off at Rich about NIN. Sure, if it comes up and you discuss a few songs you like and what have you, great. Just don't think you can start saying that NIN is better or Rich should be in the band again or what have you. Sheesh. I'm sure someone is gonna need to know this. It's all fine and dandy to like both bands, okay? Just don't go overboard here. I think you'll figure out what happens to you if you don't. That boot again.
 
Oh, and if you happen to meet Bailey, harrass the heck outta him. Ask him questions. Okay, really, NOT a good idea but I feel like knowing more about our new guy. Don't you?
 
So kiddies, when you lucky ones who get to do the shoot us non LA folk don't get to do, remember these helpful handy tips or you'll end up in heaps of trouble you don't want or need and you'll prevent the rest of Filter fandom from destroying you summarily for being a fucking moron, okay?  It'll do you some good and it'll do Rich and Filter some good and it'll really do the rest of us some good. So PLEASE take these to heart! Oh, and provide stories, pictures, anything you can of the day, okay? I'd love to see 'em.